Extreme Parental Alienation
Posted on 3rd December 2022
A case of extreme parental alienation was heard in London earlier this year, in which a father was being alienated by his ex-wife. She was manipulating the children, and going to extreme lengths to do so.
This case had been to court several times, spanning many years. A team of psychiatrists had been working for "at least 15 months" with the family to try and resolve the conflict between the parents. A quote from the judgement reads, "They ultimately came to the conclusion that they had failed to do so [reconcile], that the mother had not achieved the degree of change required and that she had turned the children against the father, and if the children remain living with her it was undoubtedly the case that the emotional and psychological harm that the children had already suered would be reinforced and would be detrimental to the children...throughout their whole lives. It would have an adverse impact of their ability to form relationships...on their own ability to parent their own future children."
The two teenage children were so taken in by their mother, that when they were removed from her and put into the care of their father, they tried to run away more than once. The police had to be involved, and the children continued to make allegations that they were being abused by their father.
On 15th October 2021, an email was sent, signed by both children, detailing the abuse they faced from their father. It reads, "We live in a state of constant terror. A constant paranoia that this day will be worse than the last. When our father causes trauma it goes unnoticed and we are told 'he is learning to be a better parent'. He hurts us physically and breaks us mentally...If we tell anyone, ask for help, he will find out, I am sure. And I am terrified of what that will lead to. Now you know. If anything terrible happens to us, and you don't do anything, the blood is on your hands.". The police were, of course, sent to the father's house, but no injuries were found, and there was nothing of concern.
The children at this point had their own solicitor, who believed them to be in danger. "She regarded the children as having provided her with clear and compelling instructions of their father's particularised physical and emotional abuse upon them since they had lived with him from November 2020.". In a "fast moving" sequence of events, the court ended up being "satisfied that the Father had no acted inappropriately towards either of the children".
On 15th December 2021, a leading child therapist gave evidence that, having spoken to the younger of the two children, she had revealed the campaign of alienation. "...she had been repeatedly contacted by her mother, through third parties, one of which was 'a man who appeared on the street...he systematically intercepted the children...giving them notes, instructions, phones, and arranged phone calls between the children and their mother. Their mother...instructed the children to make allegations that their father had harmed them...the maternal grandparents are involved in this...trackers were given to the children, and they were asked to secrete them so that their mother would know where they were at all times...the man who regularly intercepted them gave [the younger child] around £200 in cash, with which she purchased so-called 'burner phones'...Phones were left around London for her to obtain, and she was told to dispose of them [once used]...It was planned they would run away together in America...[where they have] a different legal system."
After this revelation, it was suggested the children may need bodyguards, due to the lengths their mother was prepared to go to in order to contact them, particularly her use of unknown third parties. It was later found she had also been leaving red ribbons tied around the branches of a tree outside the family home as a code for the children that a phone had been left for them.
In the end, the children were returned to their father, with all contact with their mother stopped. The mother launched many appeals for contact, and continued to throw accusations at the father, but her credibility was constantly called into question after the evidence of her campaign of alienation began to pile up. None of her appeals were successful.
Whilst this reads like something out of a bad spy film, we can only think of the damage it has done to the children. Who do they trust now? As quoted earlier, this will have done damage to their ability to form relationships for life. This is not a short term problem to overcome.
If you believe you are being alienated from your children, contact us, and we can chat about next steps.
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